Seek Heartfelt Answers

We encourage you to go through the questions slowly and deliberately.  Think seriously about your heartfelt answers and what they honestly imply about your life.  

Please allow us to share an observation or insight.   Unless you have already probed deeply into what makes you tick as a human being, simply reading questions 1 to 136 in one sitting only gives you a tiny inkling about what self-reflection really means.  Skimming for an insight does not lead to a good understanding of what makes your life truly meaningful.  Learning the truth of your fundamental nature really does require many hours of deliberate and honest exploration of your life.  Questions such as those posed here help you delve into the things that you spend your time doing,  what you have enjoyed, avoided, might be interested in experiencing or what gives you the most satisfaction.  

If self-reflection is new territory for you, we suggest you read the questions to gain an overview of what to expect and then make time to delve the questions one at a time.  You really cannot set a limit on how long it takes for your thoughts to energize and coalesce so that a truth to reveals itself for you.  Ask the question.  Let your thoughts percolate on the subject.  Explore the question from different angles.   Make notes so your good insights do not slip away.  

At the very least, you may need a few sessions of self-reflection to truly probe deeply and learn more about the real you that matters.  One question may inspire you to ask a thought-provoking question of your own.  Should a question make you feel uncomfortable, it is probably an indication that the subject requires closer self-examination to determine what that discomfort means for you.  Let these questions remind you or give you new insight of what matters most to you. 

Please note that that no question or prompt begins with “why.  Highly self-aware people ask, “What?” because it provides more productive focus on objectives and future goals rather than mistakes or “whoa is me negatives.   Asking “what” guides you to recognizing factors that may be outside your control and may not align with your personal values or passions.  This leads to you being able to strategize how to fix situations. 

Questions 1 - 19

1. Who am I, really?
2.  What worries me most about the future?
3.  If this were the last day of my life, would I have the same plans for today?
4.  What am I really scared of?   Is it the right thing to be afraid of?  Should I be this afraid of it – or rationally, should I be less or more afraid?
5.  Am I holding on to something I need to let go of?
6.  If not now, then when?
7.  What matters most in my life?
8.  What am I doing about the things that matter most in my life?
9.  Why do I matter?
10.  Have I done anything lately that’s worth remembering? 
11.  When was the last time I got so absorbed in learning something new that I lost track of time?
12.  What am I doing that is working? 
13.  What am I doing that is slowing me down?
14.  Have I made someone smile today? 
15.  What have I given up on? 
16.  When did I last push the boundaries of my comfort zone?
17.  If I had to instill one piece of advice in a newborn baby, what advice would I give? What small act of kindness did I witness that I will never forget? (to others or myself)
18. How will I live, knowing I will die?

Questions 20 - 47

20.  Who has had the greatest impact on my life? 
 21.  What do I need to change about myself? 
 22.  Is it more important to love or be loved? 
 23.  How many of my friends would I trust with my life?
 24. When I read a news story, what kind of story or behavior tends to inspire me? 
 25.  What type of news story or behavior makes me angry? 
 26.  What do I want to change about the world? 
 27.  What do I want to change about myself? 
 28.   What things have I done that made me proud?  
 29.  Would I break the law to save a loved one? 
 30.  Would I steal to feed a starving child? 
 31.   What do I want most in life? 
 32.   What is life asking of me? 
 33.  Which is worse: failing or never trying? 
 34.  If I try to fail and succeed, what have I done? 
 35.  What’s the one thing I’d like others to remember about me at the end of my life? 
 36.  Does it really matter what others think about me? 
 37.  To what degree have I actually controlled the course of my life? 
 38.  When all is said and done, what will I have said more than I’ve done? 
 39.  My favorite way to spend the day is .... 
 40.  If I could talk to my teenage self, the one thing I would say is ...
 41.  The two moments I’ll never forget in my life are ________ and ________ (Describe them in great detail, and what makes them so unforgettable.) 
 42.  How do I want to be remembered? 
 43.  Here is a list of 30 things that make me smile. 
 44.  This is a moment I experienced through my body. (Making love, making breakfast, going to a party, having a fight, an experience I’ve had or imagine for my character. Leave out thought and emotion, and let all information be conveyed through describing the body and senses.) 
 45.  The words I’d like to live by are ....  
 46.   I could not imagine living without ....
 47.  When I’m in pain, physical or emotional, the kindest thing I can do for myself is....

Questions 48 - 67

 ​48.  Here is a list of the people in my life who genuinely support me, and whom I can genuinely trust.   Am I nurturing these trusting relationships? 
 59.  What does unconditional love look like for me? 
 50.  What things would I do if I loved myself unconditionally?  How can I act on these things, even if I am not yet able to love myself unconditionally? 
 51.  I really wish others knew this about me....
 52.  Can I name what is enough for me? 
 53.  If my body could talk, it would say....
 54.  I have supported a friend recently in this compassionate way _______. How can I do the same for myself?  
 55.  What do I love about life? 
 56.  What always brings tears to my eyes? 
 57. This is a time when my work felt real, necessary, and satisfying to me. (It does not matter if the work was paid or unpaid, professional or domestic, physical or mental.)
 58.  What words can I put on paper about my first love – whether it’s a person, place or thing. 
 59.  What am I trying to achieve? 
 60. When was the last time I took the initiative to talk to a new person, just to discover what he or she was  thinking.
 61. How might I show up today to have the best impact?

 ​63.  What do I need to take better care of myself?
 64.  During difficult moments, how might I be more compassionate to others and myself? 
 65.  How might I feel more connected and fulfilled?
 66.  Using 10 words, how will I describe myself? 
 67. What’s surprised me the most about my life or life in general? 

Questions 68 - 86

 68.  What can I learn from my biggest mistakes? 
 69.  What small habit can I change today? 
 70.  I feel most energized when....
 71.  Do I have a list of questions to which I urgently need answers?  What is on the list?  Can I make time to make the list now?
 72.  Have I made a list of everything that inspires me – history, books, websites, quotes, people, paintings, stores, or stars in the sky?  How often do I refer to the list?  If I do not have a list, why don’t I write one now.
 73.  If I could eliminate one thing  from my life today, what would it be? 
 74. What is one topic I need to learn more about to help me live a more fulfilling life?  (Let me write a reminder to follow through and learn more about that topic.)
 75.  I feel happiest in my skin when....
 76.  Have I written a list of everything I would like to say no to? Why not? 
 77.  Have I written a list of everything I would like to say yes to?  Why not?

 79.  What words do I need to hear?  Have I written them down?  Why not?
 80.  Do I have a personal mission statement? 
 81.  When was the last time I had an exciting idea that kept me awake most of the night?  Am I pursuing that idea today? 
 82.  How do I express my gratitude for the good things and the people I have in my life? 
 83.  What am I spending my money on? 
 84.  Am I satisfied with my work?
 85.  If I had unlimited resources, how would I live my life? 
 86.  Did I pause to celebrate the last time I accomplished a goal, big or small?

Questions 110 - 136

110.  What is my relationship with money? 
111.  How do I keep a sense of perspective when life gets difficult? 
112.  Am I a good listener? 
113.  What gives my life meaning? 
114.  How often do I keep in touch with family and friends? 
115.  What is the source of my procrastination? 
116.  How much time do I spending on social media?  Am I guessing? Did I really calculate the time? 
117.  How many times a day do I check my email? 
118.  Am I able to say no, even when it makes me unpopular? 
119.  Who are my professors in the school of life? 
120.  Do I bring my work home? 
121.  What are the top 2 compliments I hear from people about me? 
122.  When someone sees my name on caller ID, what thoughts and feelings do I want them to have? 
123.  Have I ever invested in myself financially? Why or why not?
124.  If I were asked to describe myself in one word, what would it be?
125.  What books have influenced me the most? 
126.  Who are the people under my influence? 
127.  Do I trust my own instincts? 
128.  Do I choose happiness or leave it to chance? 
129.  Am I open to experiencing something outside my comfort zone everyday? 
130.  What’s my favorite exercise routine? 
131.  Name one psychological barrier in my life? What is it holding me back from doing? 
132.  Do I fear rejection? What am I doing to overcome this fear? 
133.  Am I following through on commitments? 
134.  Am I content? If not, what is the source of my lack of contentment? 
135. Who am I becoming? 
136.  What is important in my life?

To probe into the truth of your essence really requires many hours of deliberate and honest appraisal of what makes you tick as a human being.  Unless you have explored the things that you spend your time doing,  what you have avoided, what truly gives you the most satisfaction, or those things that you might be interested in experiencing, you will never know what makes your life meaningful.